The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya Read online

  The three of us—Nagato, Asahina, and I—went to the entryway to put on our shoes, our shoulders bumping into one another’s as we jostled in the tight space. Last month, when I’d traveled back in time with Asahina the Elder, we’d forgotten our shoes. The lesson had not been wasted on me. Thanks to Nagato’s personality, the older Asahina’s high heels were still here, four years later, but we couldn’t very well return them to the current Asahina, so I said nothing.

  “Um, what time on December eighteenth last year was it again?”

  In response to the question, Nagato gave the answer down to the second, at which Asahina nodded.

  “Okay, here we go. Kyon, close your eyes.”

  And then—

  Time shifted. No matter how many times I experienced it, it felt the same way—a dizziness that brings me to the edge of nausea. Though my eyes were closed, there was a light flashing, and an indescribably uncomfortable feeling of falling backward, of loss of spatial orientation. The equilibrium of both my body and mind was gone; it was like going around a roller coaster dozens of times in a row, and just when my sense of balance was on the verge of collapse—

  The soles of my feet registered contact with the ground. Gravity reasserted its hold on my thankful body.

  “We’re here,” Nagato said, almost whispering. I opened my eyes.

  And was immediately shocked.

  I saw myself standing directly in front of the school gates.

  Recall, if you will: the last time I time-jumped to this particular December eighteenth, I’d come from the Tanabata of four years previous, having made the jump with Asahina the Elder at past-Nagato’s behest. From the cover of darkness I’d watched the present Nagato change the world, and then I’d stepped into the light.

  And we’d just now landed smack in the middle of that scene.

  The other me was now saying something to Nagato, who’d finished changing both the world and herself. I could also see the back of Asahina the Elder, who was wearing the jacket I’d lent her. This was dangerous—this was too close.

  “Don’t worry,” my Nagato said in a monotone. “They cannot see us. I’ve erected a light-and-sound isolation field.”

  I supposed that meant that from the perspective of past-me, older-Asahina, and glasses-Nagato, the three of us were silent, transparent beings. Maybe the reason Nagato hadn’t bitten us this time was because she was personally present.

  Asahina blinked rapidly. “Um… who is that woman? She seems like an adult, but why is she here?”

  We could only see Asahina the Elder from behind, after all. It wasn’t surprising that Asahina couldn’t recognize the woman, and to simply infer that the person was actually an older version of her required an even greater mental leap. Just as I was agonizing over whether to tell her, my thoughts were obliterated by what happened next. Though I knew it was coming, watching it from outside still gave me goose bumps.

  A dark form bolted out of the shadows. Just after it swept past us, I realized it was Ryoko Asakura, lunging toward my other self, about to slam into him—no, she did slam into him. Hard, and holding a knife at her waist.

  Asahina the Elder cried out as my useless other self was stabbed. Just as I remembered being.

  “Unggh—”

  It definitely looked painful. I hadn’t noticed it at the time, but Asakura was twisting the knife back and forth. She was murderous—she was really trying to kill me. Asakura the corrupted backup was guilty of attempted murder.

  “I” collapsed to the ground.

  “Wha… aah! Kyon!” Asahina called out, and started to run to my other self, but she soon collided with an invisible barrier. “Ow—” she cried, looking up. In the moment, she must have forgotten that I was still right beside her. All she could see was the collapsed “me” across the way. I felt both grateful and not.

  “Nagato!” Asahina shouted.

  In response, Nagato nodded softly. “Dissolving barrier… now.”

  Asahina ran out as Nagato herself began to move—more swiftly than the night wind. Nagato was upon Asakura a moment later, grabbing Asakura’s upheld knife blade with her hand. Asakura’s cry, a mix of shock and hatred, reached my ears as I reached myself. Geez—I look terrible.

  Asahina the Younger clung tearfully to “my” collapsed body. It was nice that she was worried about me and all, but if she kept shaking me like that, she was just going to make me die faster.

  Luckily, she was kneeling and desperately calling out to me so fervently that she forgot all about the other woman. It was enough to make me want to thank her.

  The silent Asahina the Elder looked up from where her gaze had been to regard me.

  “So you came.”

  I was still a bit late, though—not in terms of time, but mentally.

  “… Wha…?” The voice was Nagato, exactly as I’d remembered her. It pained my heart to see her there—still wearing glasses, having fallen as she’d stumbled back, her expression one of shock. Her dark eyes moved from my other self’s collapsed form, to Asakura, to her school uniform–clad doppelganger, then finally to me.

  “Wh… why…?”

  I had promised Nagato. Which meant I could say nothing to this Nagato, the one who had just rewritten the world. There was only one thing I could do, one thing to say.

  I picked up the needle gun that the Nagato from three years ago had made, then looked down at myself. I opened my mouth to say the line I remembered hearing. I was pretty sure I got it right, and even if I didn’t, I was sure a bit of deviation would be allowed. My other self’s barely open eyes finally closed completely, and his neck slumped sideways. It was a textbook loss of consciousness, good enough to make it look like I’d died—and if we didn’t stop my bleeding soon, I really would die.

  Now it was really my turn—even though starting then, I didn’t know what was going to happen.

  The first thing I looked at was my Nagato stopping Asakura.

  “…”

  The knife that Nagato held turned to sparkling dust. Asakura tried to jump back, but her feet held fast to the ground, as if stuck there. Nagato murmured in a quiet, rapid voice.

  “No—Why? Isn’t this—” Asakura’s body began to shimmer. “Isn’t this what you wished for? Why… even now…”

  Asakura fell silent with the question on her lips, as the dissolution of the knife was followed by that of her own body, which finally crumbled and scattered. At the same time—

  “Ah… uhh…”

  Asahina the Younger had fallen prostrate over “my” body. With her closed eyes and her barely parted lips, she looked for all the world like she was sleeping. Asahina the Elder’s hand lay softly on the nape of my lovely upperclassman’s neck.

  “I put her to sleep.”

  The adult Asahina stroked her younger self’s head sadly.

  “She mustn’t learn that I am here. I had to make sure that wouldn’t happen.”

  My Asahina breathed softly as she slept, her head pillowed on my unconscious self’s slack arm.

  “I have to stay a secret to her.”

  Asahina’s sleeping face looked exactly like it had on that park bench at Tanabata three years ago. The reasoning was likewise the same—Asahina the Elder didn’t want to reveal herself to her past self. Catching a glimpse of her from behind was one thing, but if we’d gotten close, the older Asahina’s identity would’ve been obvious.

  “…”

  Nagato knelt on one knee, putting her hand to the spot on “my” torso where I’d been knifed. That’s obviously what saved me. In any case, the bleeding stopped, and “my” face looked a little less pallid. So it had been Nagato who’d healed my wound.

  Nagato stood without ceremony, then held out her hand and spoke.

  “Give it.”

  I silently handed her the gun. I hadn’t been able to do anything with it, anyway. I just couldn’t make myself do it. I didn’t want to pull the trigger on any Nagato, at any time.

  Nagato took the gun unconcernedl
y, then aimed it at her collapsed, glasses-wearing other self and pulled the trigger.

  “…”

  There was no sound, and I saw nothing miraculous fire from the gun, but—

  “…”

  Nagato (glasses) blinked, then got slowly to her feet. She stood there, ramrod-straight, very much like the Nagato I knew so well—not the girl who had given me the application form for her club, tugged hesitantly on my sleeve, and smiled shyly and faintly.

  As though to confirm my thoughts, that Nagato smoothly removed her glasses, then after glancing to me with her own eyes, locked her emotionless gaze on her other self.

  “Request synchronization.”

  The two Nagatos stared each other down. This incident included, I’d had several occasions to see my other self. My retinas had also been graced with the sight of both Asahina the Younger and Elder. But this was the first time I’d seen two of Nagato, and it was strangely moving. Magnificent, even.

  “Request synchronization,” the gunshot Nagato repeated. The Nagato holding the pistol responded immediately.

  “Denied.”

  Even I thought this was weird—to say nothing of the Nagato who now held her glasses in her hand. Her eyebrows moved a millimeter. “Why?”

  “I do not wish to.”

  I was stunned. Had Nagato ever so clearly expressed a preference? It wasn’t an excuse. She had definitively and unambiguously spoken words of emotional refusal.

  “…”

  The other Nagato fell silent, as though in deep thought.

  “…”

  The night wind ruffled her hair.

  The Nagato who had come back from the future with me spoke.

  “You will reset the world changes you effected.”

  “Understood,” said the other Nagato, but then continued on to say, “I cannot detect the existence of the Data Overmind.”

  “It is not here,” replied my Nagato indifferently. “I am still connected to the Data Overmind in my own space-time. I will effect the reversion of changes.”

  “Understood,” said past-Nagato.

  “After the reversion,” continued my Nagato, “take whatever actions you wish.”

  The newly repaired other Nagato looked to me, her head cocked ever so slightly. I was certain of the invisible information her expression revealed. Nobody understands Nagato’s feelings the way I do.

  This Nagato is that Nagato. The Nagato who appeared at the hospital that night—that is her. The one who made me so angry by claiming that her punishment was being debated.

  I also understood why the Nagato who came from the future with me rejected synchronization. She doesn’t want to tell her current self what action to take, when the time comes.

  Why, you ask? It goes without saying.

  Thank you—the words I heard from Nagato then are the answer.

  “Kyon—” said Asahina the Elder to me, hesitantly, as I stood there, stock still. “Please, take care of her… of me.”

  She went to pick up her heavy-looking younger self, who was still deeply sleeping. I hurried over to lend a hand, and no sooner had she asked me for help than I’d gotten the lesser Asahina on my back, her warmth and softness just as I remembered it.

  “A large-scale time-quake will soon occur.”

  Asahina the Elder hugged her shoulders, her face anxious. “This is a larger and more complicated space-time modification than the one that just happened. I don’t think we’ll be able to keep our eyes open this time.”

  If she said so, I believed it—but why would this be any different? I asked.

  “The first change only changed the past and present. Now, in addition to that, we must take pains to restore time to its original flow. Think back. Where do you remember waking up?”

  The evening of December twenty-first—I’d regained consciousness in the hospital.

  “That’s right. So we have to arrange things for that to come about.”

  My blazer still hanging over her shoulders, the barefoot older Asahina drew closer to me, looking somehow melancholy. She touched my shoulder, upon which Asahina the Younger still rested, then turned her head to regard Nagato. The Nagato who had come here with me now walked over to join us, the other remaining where she stood, and my collapsed other self still lying on the ground.

  Asahina the Elder put her other hand on Nagato’s shoulder. “If you please, Nagato.”

  Nagato nodded faintly, then looked at her other self, as if acknowledging that this would be their final parting. The other Nagato said nothing. I got the impression that she was lonely, which might have been my imagination, but I didn’t worry about it. I remembered what I’d said—what my other self, still lying on the ground, would soon say. “Relax and come visit me in the hospital. And don’t forget to tell your boss to drop dead.”

  “Close your eyes, Kyon,” whispered Asahina the Elder. “We can’t have you getting time-sick.”

  I took her advice and squeezed my eyes shut.

  The next moment, I felt the world twist around me.

  “Whoa—”

  I’d experienced the weightless, spinning sensation many times, and while I felt like I was getting used to it, the magnitude of the spinning felt different this time. Previously, it had felt like an amusement park roller coaster, but this was like being inside a spaceship that was blasting randomly around and I’d forgotten to fasten my seat belt. But since gravity was not acting on my body, nor was I actually being spun around, this was simple dizziness. Though I wanted to see what was going on outside me, opening my eyes made the drunken feeling terrifyingly worse, so the only vision I had was the flashes of light that sparkled behind my closed eyes. I was very grateful for both the weight of Asahina the Younger on my back and her older counterpart’s hand on my shoulder.

  —And then, there was a piercing, dangerous flash of light that penetrated my closed eyelids.

  Unable to resist the desire to see, I opened my eyes, and I understood the source of the flashing red light. Only emergency vehicles are allowed to have red lights that revolve like that.

  It was…?

  An ambulance was parked in front of the North High School entrance. Rubbernecking students looked on from a distance as emergency personnel carried someone out on a stretcher. Two forms walked alongside the stretcher as it moved, two forms whose names I’ll never forget as long as I live. Haruhi looked pale and scared, and Asahina’s face was streaked with tears as they followed the paramedics, with an unsmiling Koizumi trailing behind them.

  The stretcher was immediately loaded into the ambulance, and Haruhi got in as well, after a short exchange with the paramedics.The flashing red lights and siren got bumped up a notch, and the ambulance started to move. Asahina covered her face as Koizumi had a serious conversation on his cell phone. Nagato was not there—but that was to be expected.

  Some part of my body felt Asahina the Elder let out a sigh of relief.

  “Now we can return to our own time, Kyon.”

  The scene faded out. I guessed that was the end of this particular bonus scene. I closed my eyes. It had been worth seeing—a fragment of three days of which I had no memory. That’s right—Haruhi had claimed that it was the brigade chief’s duty to be concerned about her brigade members.

  The dizzy feeling started up again. I was desperate for some motion sickness medication—next time, I’d be sure to bring some.

  “I’ll aim for the time coordinates you came from. Be nice to me, won’t you? It will take a while before I wake up. Hee hee, you can even kiss me, if you want.”

  Asahina the Elder’s lingering, mischievous voice felt very distant.

  And then—

  When I opened my eyes, I was standing in Nagato’s living room with Asahina on my back.

  Nagato stood, facing me. “Sixty-two seconds have elapsed since we departed,” she said, looking up at me. “We have returned.”

  To our own time.

  I let out a deep breath and lowered Asahina to the floor. Her s
leeping face was definitely a top candidate for Most Kissable, but I wasn’t so naive as to take the other Asahina’s words literally. Of course, were this not Nagato’s living room, and were Nagato not currently observing me, I might’ve given in to sketchy behavior. Wait, no—I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t!

  Taking my teacup off the table, I downed the remaining tea in one gulp. It had turned lukewarm before we’d started time traveling, but it was still awfully tasty. It was perfect, like having barley tea right after a bath—it was even a match for the tea Asahina brewed in the clubroom.

  “Geez.”

  I felt like I’d finally sorted out all the trouble from the previous year. There was nothing more that needed doing. We’d changed the world back to what it needed to be and had gotten back from the club trip that had overlapped into the new year. All that remained was the first temple visit of the year. Oh, sure—Haruhi would probably come up with something strange, but until then I figured I’d be able to relax a bit.

  Incidentally, the angelic time traveler didn’t seem to be waking up. The method by which she’d been put to sleep was unclear, but her sleeping face looked as happy as Shamisen’s did when he had a full belly and was curled up somewhere warm, so I was loath to wake her. I asked Nagato to get a futon ready for her in the guest room, then carried her there and tucked her in.

  “Nagato—do me a favor and take care of her until she wakes up, okay?”

  Nagato was certainly getting her fill of sleeping guests, but she looked at me and nodded.

  I would’ve loved to stay until Asahina awoke, but to be honest I was utterly weary myself. If I didn’t get home soon and ameliorate my exhaustion via a good bath and my own bed, there was no way I’d be able to be up tomorrow morning by nine, and I wanted to put an end to the evaporation of my wallet’s limited resources. Five people’s worth of New Year’s cash would’ve been a crushing blow.

  It would’ve been nice to crawl into a futon next to Asahina, like I’d done back when I’d slept through three years after Tanabata, and while I’m completely confident that I would’ve fallen immediately asleep upon putting head to pillow, I couldn’t help but feel that nobody was asking for me to sleep there.